The First Two Months

Well these first two months of being a mom have been hard, frustrating, unsure, and just flat out a pain, but yet so wonderful, magical, and such a blessing!!! I was told many times by other mom's that I would not enjoy it and among other things. I have to say tho that yes it is difficult, but motherhood you just have to embrace it for all it is. Who says motherhood is glamorous? You get pooped on, spit-up on, peed on, your a comfort and a discipliner. But maybe my perspective is different because of how my mom is and was. She embarrassed every moment of being a mom and choose to enjoy every minute of it. My mom's famous words are "Children don't choose to be born, we bring them into this world." I do think that is a good way to look at it cause it is so true. I remind myself of that on the hard nights. But the hardest of nights can seem so magical once that baby looks at you like you are the world with that little baby grin and those little coos. Those are the things I look forward to being a mom. Those smiles that just make your heart warm and fuzzy, how could you not enjoy being a mom with those smiles. My other favorite part is those days when she just sleeps on my chest curled-up. It is such a bitter-sweet experience you don't want them you grow-up cause they are just so wonderful but yet you can't wait till they are out of curtain stages. I am looking forward to the journey of motherhood and what it will bring to me. It has already been a huge blessing I can't wait to see how much more blessed it leaves me in the years to come.

Love

Love is a mysterious thing that all adults tell you, you don't know what it is, but at the sametime everybody young person believes that every person they date is the love of there life. So how do you know if it is really love or that you really love someone. Societly has put this whole thing on people that you have to fal in love you have to marry the love of your life. Everything is about love. But I feel that people today have lost the meaning of love. Love is not something you have for one day and gone the next it isn't something that has conditions, love isn't a warm fuzzy feeling 24/7. Love is the one thing in life that is the most amazing thing but yet the worst thing. It is something that can't been tracked with hounds or destroyed with a thousand swords. Death can't break it up and long distance can't stop it. Love will cause you to give up everything but yet you receive the world. You know you love someone when you can change there dipers when they are old, and feeding them when they can't lift there arms to there mouth. It is when you stay up ALL night when they are sick caring for them even though you knoe you will have to get up extra early for work. Love is when your husband stands next to you while you give birth to your child and tells you to keep going even when you want to give up. When you know you can give everything and anything up know matter what you know you love someone.
I always tell people this one thing "What is he couldn't touch you, Couldn't tell you, and couldn't kiss you, would you still know he loves you?"

What a shock!

Just in these last couple days I have found out I am pregnant. Well know body seems to be shocked other than me. But I am very excited but scared I think like anybody else who has there first baby. You don't know what to expect, you don't understand what is happening to your body, everything changes so fast. I'm starting to adjust to it all but it's still a working progress. I pray everyday for strength and energy cause I don't seem to have either of the to. Food and sleep are all I want at the moment and I miss my perky self. I don't seem to be there anymore. Thank goodness I have Jesus or else I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. I really don't know how I am going to do things when my husband leaves that will be the biggest challenge for me. My whole support system leaving me will be a hard one. Of course I have my family but there is nothing that can replace a good supportive husband. There is just something about it that makes the most difficult things easy. But that's ok I have Jesus and he will help me hold out until my hubby comes home. Although this journey will be hard nothing is impossible without Jesus. But my hunny will sure be missed. There are many things I have to do to keep me busy but at the end of the day it will be those moments alone when I will realize how much needed a good hug and a kiss. Well I better stop be for I cry my eyes out again. I just put all my strength in Jesus and all things are possible!